November 4, 2008 at 6:27 am (Uncategorized)

It’s crazy to want you to run your fingers through my hair

And it’s crazy to want you to hold me down

And it’s crazy to pretend that I don’t like it

When I won’t


And it’s crazy to whisper your name

And it’s crazy to want you here with me

And it’s crazy to think like I know you

When I don’t


And it’s crazy to hear your voice in my dreams

And it’s crazy to feel your touch on my arm

And it’s crazy to try and forget you

When I can’t



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October 12, 2008 at 9:14 am (Uncategorized)

I watched a leaf fall

To meet its comrades in arms

At the bottom of the heap

Remembering greener days

Sorrowing for lost glory


I watched the rain fall

On bleak streets of beggars

Warnings not to fail the world

Or a caution to conform


I watched a star fall

From the glittering sea of the sky

Fading to nothing in the neon skyline

Of meaningless cities


I watched a friend fall

From grace of those sought to help

In the face of hardship

Watched a lone figure battle to the death


I watched the Earth fall

To machines and uselessness

Forgetting the meaning of life

Is to live and love

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Paint My World

September 10, 2008 at 3:15 pm (Uncategorized)

Reach across my world

Paint a stroke of memory

Through my tired mind

Of better days and flying free


I lay remembering us together

Our innocence and faith

Washed away in the tides of time

Revealed the cynic’s face.


Once we walked the roads with laughter

We ran and jumped and played

Once we felt a love bursting forth

We welcomed every day


But now there is nothing to wake up for

You dread the coming days

I can’t help you through this

‘Cuz you’ve got to find your way.

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I Am

August 18, 2008 at 6:54 am (Uncategorized)

I am

Love and Hate




I feel

Happy on the outside

While I cry inward




I am

Stupid yet wise


In a crowd


I need

Arms to hold me

Hands to guide me

Legs to move me


I am

All the colours of the rainbow

King and Peasant




I am

Imbedded in everyone

Invisible to the world


And beast


I look

Around and see pain

Inside and feel anguish

Blue skies

Stormy Seas


I want

To be accepted

To be different

To be better

To live


I am



I am



I am

Trapped in my own head


I am


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August 9, 2008 at 9:07 am (Poetry) (, )

Bullets through my world
Bullets through my head
Running, racing, tried to stop
Filled with hate instead.

Wandering into room of white
Red bloodstains on the floor
Can’t feel anyone around me
As light filters through the door

Curled into a tiny ball
Bleeding from my head
Bullets shatter all the glass
Invaders take their stead.

People coming from afar
Across the world it seems
Broken bodies in the dust
Breaking all my dreams.

Bullets through my family
Killing all but me
Bullets through a peaceful home
When will it cease to be?

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Beginnings and Ends

August 8, 2008 at 3:50 am (Poetry) ()

Open air blows

My hair in tangled knots

Your old red trans am

Speeds down a deserted highway

Trees march faster, faster

Closing in to cover the

Moon and stars twinkling above

Racing past us out in space

I want to run among them

At their own pace, faster than light

Then shine down

I want to find the speed of darkness


Drumming against my head

Immerse me in your crystalline acceptance

Free me

Detach my emotions

Only for a little while, my peace

Cradle my broken mind

Let me forget, only for a little while

Fade out to dull blackness

Sink all of me in a pool of releases


With every pill sink

Deeper and deeper into

The abyss of abuse

The needles, leaving track marks

Mar my once perfect skin

Not that I care.

The smoke doesn’t leave anymore

I walk around in a perpetual haze

Drowning in a pool of alcohol

Can’t swim to the top, help me



Double beep. White sheets

Stark walls, blank faces

I can’t open my eyes

Will I really be ok?

Don’t lie

My heart is dry of tears

Those were spent on comfortless nights

Alone in the my room

Didn’t you hear me?

Yes, I know how I got here

I fell in a rabbit hole, and ecstasy –

An emotionless way out


I took an empty heart for granted

Until it filled to the brim

With pain and anger

But not hate, never

There’s still love underneath somewhere

I won’t look for it alone

Hold my hand, I’m scared too

No reason not to face it together

Together – we haven’t been that in a long while

Where do we start?

At the beginning I suppose…

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Angel’s Wings

August 8, 2008 at 3:48 am (Poetry) ()

A silent double beep

Releases me from the torment of my body

Not unlike the pinprick

Of euphoria that dulls your broken heart

Bleeding the colors

To a murky brown-grey hue

Smudging emotions

To an oblivious nothing

Devoid of sense

Empty of thought

Cradle your love in your arms

I am farther gone then you know

Floating above you

Shimmering angel’s wings lift me up

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Untitled #1

August 7, 2008 at 10:10 pm (Poetry) ()

So I really don’t have anything else to post because I’m at work. So here is just something.

When you press me up against the wall…

When you push, turning this pain into ecstasy…

When you run your hands through my hair…

When you moan out my name…

When you hold me down, so I can’t move at all…


I can feel your heart pounding against mine

And your hot breath on my neck

Your hips pressing into my stomach

And every inch of your muscled body


I can’t think or speak

For wanting you.





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